My ex even went out of her way to ensure I knew she loathed my jokes and would no longer even tolerate them, much less laugh at them. Practically the moment we said “I do” my ex tried to turn me against my family, especially my dear mother, and did everything within her power to keep me from spending any time with them. When we were dating, my ex acted like she loved everything about, even my over the top cheesy jokes, but as soon as we got married it was obvious, and painfully so, that she did not marry me for who I was but rather who she thought she could turn me into and immediately set about striving to change almost every aspect of my personality. Had I paid heed to the warning signs and dated longer before getting engaged, or even had a longer engagement, I have no doubt that we never would have gotten married, and it would have saved both of us a lot of grief and heartache. When I was dating my ex-wife there were a lot of red flags, and even on our wedding day when she was walking down the isle toward me, I was more terrified than happy and I considered postponing the wedding for a while because I was not absolutely certain that I was doing the right thing, and honestly, I think the only reason I did not postpone the wedding, either on the wedding day or well before, is because I was afraid of how everyone would look at me and I was afraid that if I postponed the wedding everyone would hate me, even if we did later get married. You will never have negotiate your way into the heart of someone who wants you there, and if they are the person God put in your life than they will want you there. When something, or someone, is part of God’s plan for our lives there are no red flags to ignore, and we don’t have to convince ourselves that it is right, we just know that it is right. I think this is especially true in relationships and, almost without fail, when we rush into a relationship that is not right there are a multitude of warning signs or red flags that we choose to ignore in order to convince ourselves that the relationship is in our best interest, and that route leads to heartache, not sometimes but always.
When we don’t trust God’s timing we don’t trust God and are afraid that he will never give us what we need or deserve. Sometimes when we get impatient and are not willing to wait on God’s timing we settle for things we know are not right, even things we know will not make us happy, if for no other reason than the misguided feeling that having something, anything, now is better than waiting for something far better that may never come. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5) is extremely good advice, and I know from sad experience that leaning on my own understanding instead of trusting God only leads to heartbreak and trouble.
It is human nature to grow impatient when we know what we want or need, or when we think we know what we want or need, especially when it is something important, and sometimes we are afraid that God has forgotten about us and feel that we must make, whatever it is, happen on our own, but it is always a mistake, and often disastrous, to rush things and go with our own plans and our own timeline instead of following God’s plan and timeline. Instead he is patient with youĪs humans, we want what we want and we want it right now, and it is difficult for most, if not all, of us to wait for things we want, especially if there is no guarantee that we will ever get what it is that we want. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.
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